Behind the Human (meat) Brain.

The human brain so many mysteries remain. It is not the drug that affects the brain, the drug is a key and what it opens was always, inside.

Übermensch (The ideal superior man of the future): They could not control me, the next day I found out the Doctor had injected me with enough midazolam that one of my lungs almost collapsed and that had only slowed me down. I was high on brain damage, the police thought I must have been on meth due to my super strength. The Doctors spoke with the law and no charges were laid, from their perspective I was irrepressible and insurmountable.

‘Remembering that time’[1] from my perspective: It was four or five days after my first brain operation. For reasons only insanity can know I had decided to climb a mountain near the hospital and had absconded from purgatory (Hospital).

I was now lost in the bush near the Townsville hospital, Australia. It was October 2018 and it was hot around thirty-eight degrees Celsius. I had found a creek, but it was dry and I was extremely thirsty. Then a man in blue appeared. He was a stark contrast to the greens and browns of the bush. I started to run away, but he yelled something, and I paused. I asked if he had water and agreed to go back to the ambulance with him.

I told him not to come to close to me because I was volatile and didn’t understand why. I had forgotten I had the brain operation, where I was and who I was. The Ambo man would have understood why my behaviour was erratic. We talked while walking back, discussing if humans had the right to change DNA to alter living things to a human design. We also talked about the injustices in the world and how sad it to see children suffering.

We arrived at the ambulance and talked while I drank some water. The ambo man was from New Zealand, North Island, he was very soft natured, and we had a great conversation. He asked me if I would hop in the ambulance so he could take my blood pressure. I agreed and we were in the ambulance when his partner got back as he had also been out searching for me. The ambulance door shut.

Then I was sitting in a chair in a white room, and I could not see outside, I could not see nature. A song by Cream started playing in my mind ‘In the white room with black curtains near the station…’. I stood up and declared that I wanted to go outside. I had people around me, but they were just shapes and I didn’t really identify them as humans. I was told I couldn’t go outside as we walked out of the room together.

I could see other humans there as we walked into the main emergency department of the hospital. I think it was a couple with an ill child. I couldn’t look at them as they were sick with worry. I spotted an exit sign over a door, and I was quickly at the door. The door was locked and needed to be unlocked by a swipe card. I demanded the door be open as it was my civil right to leave if I wanted. I was told I could not leave.

I walked a few metres away from the door, then charged at the door thinking I was my star sign, Taurus the Bull. The door didn’t budge, and I proceeded to head-butt the door, knocking some consciousness out of me. Suddenly I was sitting back in the chair in the room, and I wasn’t sure if I had even got up.

Now very angry, I stood to find I had a man hanging off my right arm. It may have been a policeman or security; I do not know. He had me in a wrist/arm lock and was going for the chicken wing. Moves in martial arts to subdue but not harm your opponent. I was not trying to resist; I was not trying to do anything, as I was confused as to how this man had got stuck on my right arm.

Failing to get me into the chicken wing position, the man still had me in a wrist/arm lock and was now bending his knees trying to get me to sit in the chair again. He may have had all his weight on my right arm as he was looking at me in confusion as to why I wasn’t moving despite his efforts.

We started a back and forth where he told me to sit down, and I assured him I would sit down if he let go of my arm. He wanted me to sit first then said he would let go of my arm. I was in a ‘today it is going to go my way’ kind of mood. So, I assured him again that I had come to my senses and if he let me go, I would sit down. Perhaps because of the man’s ideas he had authority thus power over me he wanted it his way.

I do not remember what I did to get out of the wrist lock. But I think part of it required me assaulting the man. Now I was walking out of the room again, suddenly all I could see was the Kiwi ambo man in front of me. I couldn’t possibly hurt that bloke, so I waited to see what he would say.

‘Look at those people’, he said to me.

I looked at the couple with the child, they looked at me with uncertainty, now they had a madman to worry about.

‘Respect’ was the next word I heard and like a shot of peace I found the power to control myself and go back to the chair. I was still burning with rage and told the man who had been on my right arm, ‘Me and you mother fucker in the cage’. He had a look of fear on his face and the only thing stopping me attacking him, was respect for the other people in the place, and the nice Kiwi bloke.

Then the Doctor was beside me offering me midazolam, a sedative with an amnesic effect. I know midazolam, had it a few times in hospital. I told the Doctor that was the best idea I had heard yet, as I knew my self-control was fragile. The Doctor gave me the drugs and time passed yet it was still day. I had been brought in during the day and was now in artificial light, I had forgotten there was a day and a night, this day was lasting eons.

Now I was in a room waiting for an MRI (Magnetic resonance imaging) on my brain. I was again being held down and the Doctor was giving me more drugs confused why I was still awake from the amount he had already given me. I was then strapped to the MRI table so I couldn’t get away.

I was in and out of consciousness and was now inside the MRI machine. Did I mention I am claustrophobic? I would gain awareness inside the machine and the wall is only few inches from your eyes, I thought I was trapped in a pipe (an incident from childhood) so I would fight the restraints they had me tied in with.

‘Please stop moving’, the voice would say, ‘Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me’ I would yell at the unseen owner of the voice. The sound of the machine droned on as it bombarded my brain inside a magnetic field. When I was unconscious, I was in some blissful place that I did not want to leave. It was not a physical place, but there were others there.

It is hard to explain because there was a room and I had to write. A woman’s voice would encourage me to keep writing, so I never was alone as she was in the room with me. I was writing about the aspects of how ‘divine morality’ would differ from the morals created by ‘moral evolution’ through social animals. Animal morality based on evidence from psychology, sociology, and politics, would indeed be herd morality. Or is that herd mentality?

Tap into your Übermensch, A human is beyond an animal, the human mind is the only mind that has proven conscious moral reasoning. Devine morality is accepting this burden of the human (meat) brain. It is the epitaph of moral evolution from social animals as the human concepts of morality are based on relationships.

The relationship between humans and the planet that sustains them has been damaged. The rise in mental health issues seems to coincide with the birth of consumerism that comes from industrialism and all cause pollution. Consumerism seems to cause greed which means it is right for less people to have more even if more people have less.

Sacrifice is an effort from the person to change something at the cost of something else. For real change to happen the individual must be willing to sacrifice something so future generations have a clean planet to exist on. It could be as simple as starting recycling and making sure rubbish goes in the right place. Consuming less would also help the planet and mean there is more for others.

When I woke up in the morning, I was confused why everyone looked so worried and yet were

happy to see me.

[1] Regina Spektor - That Time (Lollapalooza 2007)